A TRADESMAN like Wellington Point's Malcolm Blyth can soon take care of any troublesome leaks. If he was in the US the government wouldn't need the infamous Guantanamo Bay prison. Nevertheless, Mal copped an 'enhanced interrogation' – minus any beatings and sleep and sensory deprivation, but with a much-feared torture technique, the interrogator's sense of humour – over his interest in leaks of the 'drip, drip, drip' kind. Let it go on the record now that, yes, Brisbane-born Mal has profited from leaks occurring in the Redlands for several decades but, no, he's not a terrorist, just a reliable, semi-retired tradie looking forward to some overseas travel now his son, Jack, has graduated from Sheldon College and settled in as a university student. Mal's wife Sally is an abstract artist who knows how to turn a leak into a good picture. She's just finished 14 paintings for a Noosa retirement village. They deserve their passports.
Mal admits he had a brush with the mafia in Italy "way back" and came face to face with the black market when he tried to buy a cigar in Vietnam a few years ago. But the only 'spooks' in his life were those in the Tower of London where he worked early morning shifts on the heating system while studying at night for his plumbing certificates many years ago. Yes, the 'Speckled Hen' is at top of mind for Mal. But no, it's not the code name for a 'wiki' covert – just a tasty English brew that he enjoys at his beloved The Grand Hotel, where he might chat with his mates about his past travels including New Zealand and the Pacific islands, or the Socceroos' Asian Cup performance.
Mal does admit he'd like to use a few 'compliance' techniques to get Jake back into the "world game" after a stellar career as a Redlands defender. But Mal's just another loving dad, like dozens of the other tradies who advertise in The Redland Times and Bayside Bulletin every week.
This column appeared in August in The Redland Times.
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