Saturday, May 08, 2010

Female dog? No, just the office manager

IT wasn't any mix-up when an ad for a labrador, cattle dog, kelpie and border collie appeared several pages from the Pets & Pets Supplies column.T he notice wasn't the standard "free to good home" type but rather reflected a Victoria Point woman's search for a job. The woman, chuckling over her "dare to be different" hunt for an administration role and asking to be quoted simply as "Jan", delighted the dedicated readers who soak up 'every word in the paper', knowing they'll find a gem in an unexpected place.

RIGHT there in the small type under the terribly serious headline, Positions Wanted, Jan described herself as possessing the loyalty of a labrador and devotion to duty of a kelpie. The canine metaphors kept barking, with the notice saying she was as hardworking as a border collie and as trustworthy as a cattle dog. The list ended with Jan declaring she was an "admin b....h" and adding two exclamation marks just in case anyone missed her reference to a female dog.

JAN came to the Redlands with a young family about 20 years ago and now rules her turf on a household that must get pretty hectic with a "combined family" that includes five offspring, ranging in age from 17 to 22, from the two partners. She occasionally has to show her teeth to a serious rival. An ageing Australian terrier, Winnie, shares the address. Jan says a workmate gave her the dog about six years ago when Jan was doing the admin for a Capalaba car yard. Jan seems like a life-long dog fanatic and she previously owned two, a bitsa and a Pomeranian, but "that was long ago when I was a child". Asked how long ago, she quoted the unwritten rule that the 'admin b....h' never reveals her age. 'Keep 'em guessing' is the best tactic to stay in control of the office, she reckons.

AFTER referring to just about every dog in the pound, Jan's ad said she actually had a few more qualities, was experienced in "reception/administration/accounts roles" and was available for immediate start. Days later, she had received only one call - from a woman who asked if Jan could tutor her in office work but at least didn't want Jan to check her for ticks or clip her nails."Teaching someone was not what I had in mind," Jan howled. Then she growled about not getting a better response, but still she remained hopeful of collaring the right position.

Thanks for joining me to meet the great people and other creatures in the marvellous community of classified advertising. This column has appeared in The Redland Times.

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